Crumbling
by jade isabelle
Summary: She steps carefully on the scale, eyes closed. She keeps them closed, knowing that whatever the number was, it wouldn't be low enough. It never would be. Warning: Bulimia. For Riley- and maybe they'll fall in love


**Hey guys! This is my first Shake It Up fanfiction. It's kind of dark, but this was a Challenge that my sister made up for me.**

**Warning: Graphic descriptions of bulimia**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Shake It Up. **

Rocky opens her closet door, going straight to the dark blue dress in the back. For the millionth time, she checks the label to make sure what she's doing is worth it.

She sighs. It's most definitely a Size 2.

She strips to her underwear, and steps carefully on the scale, eyes closed. She keeps them closed, knowing that whatever the number was, it wouldn't be low enough. It never would be. She takes a deep breath as she opens her eyes.

118.6.

She sighs again, before pulling on pajamas, and walking over to the wall calendar hanging next to her bed. The big dance was nearly a month ago. Turning towards the closet, she spots the red, silky dress she had bought when she realized that she would not fit into the blue one in time. Size 4.

. . .

She throws her backpack down, heading straight to the kitchen. Ty would be home in an hour. She has an hour to block out her worries, an hour until they came back.

She eats until her stomach hurts, and was aching for relief, and, in a daze, she makes her way slowly to the bathroom. She can't remember the last time she went _that _far, eaten _that _much. The guilt builds up, until she can't take it; she has to get rid of it.

She watches, satisfied, as her stomach's contents are washed away, and relief floods her features. Ty still wouldn't be home for twenty minutes, and continuing to be driven by guilt, she begins the exercise regime that she had set for herself all those months ago.

She always knew she wasn't the skinniest person alive, but it didn't bother her until she was dress shopping with CeCe for the dance they had both been so excited about. The Size 4 in the blue had been a tight fit, but Rocky was determined.

When Ty comes home, she stops. She can't let him find out her secret.

118.3.

She smiles, recording her current weight on her computer, where her secret is the only thing she lives for. She closes her bedroom door, and reads through the most recent entries.

_May 19_

_Fat. That is all you'll ever be if you don't stop eating. _(119.0)

_May 22_

_My throat hurts from purging, but I can't stop. I have to be thin. _(118.7)

. . .

Rocky sails through the following weeks, her weight and spirits plummeting. But it's never good enough.

109.8.

She stares at the sky, wishing she could float away, wishing her worries and imperfections would float away too.

106.3.

She begins purging at school, knowing that lunch wouldn't help her to her goals. She ignores the blood that has started showing up.

She's picked a number- a goal that she was going to do everything she could to achieve. 90.0 pounds.

. . .

The very minute she opens her bedroom door, she knows her secret is no longer safe.

_He knows._

"Rocky? Can you tell me what this is?" Ty is sitting at her computer, the screen displaying her diary.

"Ty," she breathes, panic rising in her chest. "Why are you in my room?"

"My computer's not working," he answered simply. "Rocky, what is this?" His voice is calm, but she can tell he's just trying to hold it all together.

"Um, I'm not sure."

"Rocky," she winced at his repeated use of her name. "What is this? What is this doing on your computer?"

His voice sounds like she feels. Broken.

"Rocky?"

"It's nothing."

"It's clearly not _nothing_. What is it?"

She stops, and looks at him, avoiding eye contact, knowing his eyes would only hold disappointment.

"You know what it is," she says quietly.

"You have an eating disorder?"

She nods slowly. "Bulimia."

"You need help. How long?"

"A little over a month."

"You need help," he repeats.

He scrolls through the document that completely ruined his sister. "You really think all of these things?"

"Would I have written it if it wasn't true?"

"I guess not." He stops, and studies her. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Ty, it's not that I didn't trust you. I do. It's just…"

"What?"

"I needed to do this."

"Why? What happened?"

She eyes him warily. Was she really going to tell him? "Do you remember the day CeCe and I went shopping for our dresses for the dance?"

He nods, knowing he had to hear the full story.

"CeCe bought this tiny little dress, and my dress just made me look so much bigger than her. It bothered me. So I bought the dress I liked that was nearly two sizes too small, a Size 2, hoping I would be able to squeeze into it by the time of the dance. But I tried to not eat, and just couldn't do it, so I started throwing up."

She paused at this point in her story, and, taking a shaky breath, she continued.

"About a week before the dance, I bought another dress, a Size 4 because I knew the other dress wasn't going to happen, and that was the one I wore to the dance. Afterwards, I realized how badly I wanted to be able to fit into the Size 2. So I went for it."

She looked up slowly. "Are you mad at me?"

"No. Not mad, just frustrated, I guess." At her confused reaction, he elaborated. "I'm frustrated that you can't see how beautiful you are."

"You're my brother. You're supposed to say that."

"No, Rocky. I'm not just saying it. You're beautiful."

She smiles sadly. "Thank you…Ty?"

"Yeah?"

"There were things I didn't write down because I was too ashamed. I was throwing up blood a few weeks ago. It went away, but…it made me panic."

His brotherly instincts kick in. "It's going to be okay."

_Fin_

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